Why I Hate the News . . .
Admittedly there are multiple reasons why I hate the news, and a complete list would probably last longer than the average attention span . . . so in the interest of retaining my readers, I'll stick with my current gripe. Aside from avoiding the news due to it's high content of stories meant to inspire a person to climb the nearest highest building and throw themselves from the top - The Denver Post does not practice journalism. They practice creative writing. As many Colorado-ites are aware (and the rest of the world doesn't particularly care), Denver's second newspaper, The Rocky Mountain, recently closed it's doors due to a bad economy and a surplus of folks with no talent. While The Rocky used to be the worst offender, The Denver Post has apparently incorporated some of the spirit of it's old compatriot - for which I recommend calling a Priest and performing and exorcism.
As a horrifying sample, I present yesterday's FRONT PAGE news! I realize the font is small, but I promise I am not making this up. I could get a clearer on-line copy, but it doesn't show that the article was on the front page!
First - the title meant to inspire warm fuzzy feelings of safety in today's troubled economy (I'm being sarcastic people . . . work with me!) "Trillion-dollar Trouble" Notice the total lack of actual description of the danger . . . which is followed by the heart-attack inducing text. "In Colorado and across the nation, our roads, bridges and water systems are crumbling, sometimes with devastating results." [As a side note, they left out the third comma. I'm a punctuation snob, and yes - it still matters. There was a 'fella who left $100,000 to be split evenly between Jane, Bob and Joe, and the court ruled $50,000 to Jane and $50,000 to Bob and Joe. THE COMMA MATTERS.]
But, wait! It get's better! Read the first line of the small print article (which I have retyped below, in case it is too small to see.)
"The dishwasher in Jennifer Williford's kitchen never washes a dish. She cleans them in a gray plastic tub, tossing the dishwater outside."
OMFG! IT'S FRONT PAGE NEWS
- courtesy of The Denver Post.
As a horrifying sample, I present yesterday's FRONT PAGE news! I realize the font is small, but I promise I am not making this up. I could get a clearer on-line copy, but it doesn't show that the article was on the front page!
First - the title meant to inspire warm fuzzy feelings of safety in today's troubled economy (I'm being sarcastic people . . . work with me!) "Trillion-dollar Trouble" Notice the total lack of actual description of the danger . . . which is followed by the heart-attack inducing text. "In Colorado and across the nation, our roads, bridges and water systems are crumbling, sometimes with devastating results." [As a side note, they left out the third comma. I'm a punctuation snob, and yes - it still matters. There was a 'fella who left $100,000 to be split evenly between Jane, Bob and Joe, and the court ruled $50,000 to Jane and $50,000 to Bob and Joe. THE COMMA MATTERS.]
But, wait! It get's better! Read the first line of the small print article (which I have retyped below, in case it is too small to see.)
"The dishwasher in Jennifer Williford's kitchen never washes a dish. She cleans them in a gray plastic tub, tossing the dishwater outside."
OMFG! IT'S FRONT PAGE NEWS
- courtesy of The Denver Post.
posted by Andrea Peach | 9:48 AM
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