My Theories on the Squidmasters

For any and all who have not heard my theories on squid and octopi, mark my words - if these critters figure out how to develop a skeletal system capable of sustaining them on land, they will rule the world. Calamari is self defense.

So needless to say, my attention was captivated by the linked article, which is titled "SoCal Aquarium Blames Flooding on Curious Octopus." Apparently a "gregarious" female octopus manage to turn a valve in her tank and flood the aquarium offices with hundreds of gallons of water. According to the article "no sea life was harmed by the flood."

A few points here . . .

1. What genius put a valve in the octopi aquarium that could cause hundreds of gallons of water to flood the administrative offices when octopi are capable of unscrewing the lids off mason jars?

2. Do they still have a job?

3. Of course no sea life was harmed . . . the octopus was obviously just trying to share its lovely habitat with its "friends" . . . in the same way the man following you down the dark alley with a crowbar was simply fixing a flat tire and is now being a good Samaritan and trying to return the $10 bucks you dropped on the sidewalk.

4. Pray tell . . . how can sea life be harmed by adding hundreds of gallons MORE sea water?

I'm not exactly sure who won that round. The octopus is still captive, but it has managed to showcase the naievety and stupidity of its captors. I'd call it a draw . . . unless we get together a group of like-minded people and make a trip to Red Lobster. Calamari, ho!