On Full Metal Alchemist . . .

So, T. and I just finished watching the anime Full Metal Alchemist, which - while highly disturbing on many levels - turned out to be very very good. A lot of the earlier depressing "filler" episodes turned out not to be filler at all - and while character development was slow at first, I did eventually come to really enjoy the characters and the tight story line. All in all, I would recommend it, but be prepared for some true weirdness. In fact, when T. and I were trying to watch the ending of the series, A. refused to leave the room. So mommy tried to explain that this movie was for adults, and there might be scary things we couldn't explain (yes - I'm giving disclaimers to my 5 year old . . . why do you ask?). And when we turned the movie on, it didn't take more than a minute before A. gasped and said (in a very small, very cute, very horrified voice) "Mommy! . . . Why is that man's head on BACKWARDS?!" Heh heh. Give your child mental blocks for Christmas, right?

Having said all that - we just finished watching the movie "Conquerors of Shamballa" which takes place 2 years after the rest of the series. FOR THOSE WHO DON'T WANT SPOILERS, STOP READING HERE.

The funniest part of the whole movie was when Ed's friend Alphonso, builder of rockets, mentions that Ed is awfully quiet and doesn't seem to show an interest in developing relationships with people. T. and I looked at each other and burst into laughter. I think the whole reason Ed stays quiet is because if he opened his mouth, people would think he was insane, or scary, or insanely scary, and they would run screaming. Let's try a few conversations, shall we?

Innocent bystander: So, Ed, where do you live?
Ed: Generally in hotels or with people who will let me hide in their basement.
Innocent bystander: Umm . . . okay. But where is your home?
Ed: Define "home."
Innocent bystander: Umm . . . the place where your mother and father are.
Ed: ::shrugs:: Oh. Okay. Dad abandoned my brother and I when we were little. I think he's in some sort of witness protection program for people sought by all the denizens of Hell because of their abilities to manipulate massive amounts of human lives in order to grant immortality and open doors to other worlds. I'm pretty sure he's working with nuclear physicists at the moment, but we don't really get along.
Innocent bystander: And what about your mother?
Ed: ::uncomfortable silence:: She died.
Innocent bystander: But you have a brother right?
Ed: ::uncomfortable silence:: Um . . . had a brother. Or brothers. I mean define "have." Do I "have" them if they don't exist in this world? Or if I "have" their soul in a bucket? Does it count if they share my flesh but have no soul?
Innocent bystander: Umm . . . I don't think I'm qualified to answer that question. ::In desperation:: What about a house? Where's your house?
Ed: Umm . . . Al and I burned it so we wouldn't have anywhere to return to - to strengthen our resolve to . . . umm . . . well.
Innocent bystander: Resolve to what?
Ed: Never mind. Trust me. Never mind.
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Didn't work out so well? Right? Try this one!

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Conversation No. 2:

Myth-hunter: So, Ed. I've heard rumors that someone saw a dragon. Want to help me see if we can find it?
Ed: Ah, no. No thank you. I'm pretty sure that's my brother. Not my brother who's a soul in a bucket. My soulless brother who was wrenched into Life from the remains of my half-brother. Anyway, we don't get along.
Myth-hunter: ::mouth hanging open:: Um. Yeah. Guess I'll see you later.
Ed: Probably not. Oh, and don't mention me, okay? Or he'll tear you apart piece by piece to find out where I am. I haven't figured out how to kill a homonuculi without alchemy yet, so . . .
Myth-hunter: Ummm . . . yeah. Maybe I'll go play Parcheesi instead.
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Conversation No. 3:

Innocent bystander: So, Ed, I don't mean to be rude - and you probably get this question a lot - but can I ask what happened to your arm and leg?
Ed: Umm . . . well my brother Al and I tried a human transmutation.
Innocent bystander: A human what?
Ed: ::uncomfortable silence:: Mom died of cancer, and we tried to bring her back from the dead. Only it didn't work out so well, and my leg was severed at the hip. But then I saw Al's entire body was disintegrating, so I bound his soul to a suit of armor, and the price was my right arm being severed at the shoulder.
Innocent bystander: ::uncomfortable silence::
Ed: ::uncomfortable silence:
Innocent bystander: Ah . . . well . . . um . . . ::in a very small voice:: did it work?
Ed: Um . . . no. Sort of. It brought her soulless body back - inside out. But someone else fixed that . . . and her body looked just like mom when I killed her four years later. ::silence::
Innocent bystander: Your brother is a soul in a bucket?
Ed: Not anymore. At least I don't think so. We found my arm and leg fused to the body of a homonuculi that came from my sensei's stillborn baby. And Al tried . . . well . . . um . . . look, this is a sort of painful topic for me. Do you mind if we talk about something else?
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No one else might find it funny . . . but I find it damn hilarious! That series is mucked up!