On Plumbing and Other Midnight Activities

It started out as a simple clean job . . . honest. My parents are coming into town this Wednesday, and I was diligently wiping every surface in my house with some type of abrasive cleaner. The downstairs sink has always had an issue draining (and leaking - which is why I never touch the pipes - one wrong point of pressure and the whole thing could fall apart). And then, this time, I snapped. One moment I'm wiping the sink with down with Soft Scrub cleaner - the next, I've disassembled my entire sink (spattering goo everywhere), washed out the u-joint, unscrewed the pop-up drain and removed it entirely from the sink bowl . . . and 'lo and behold . . . I actually found the problem.

So on my adrenaline high from disassembling my sink (and being fairly certain that I could actually complete the reassembly) - I realize the toilets been leaking for two years . . . and (what the heck) the bathroom is already covered in goo anyway. Off comes the top to the toilet. Inside, there appears to be the usual toilet workings . . . and a very large (think 1 1/2" wide by 1/2" deep) lumpy brown mass. After chipping away what I could of the brown mass (and wondering if someone left an old chemical tablet in the water), I finally decided the problem was the rubber flapper. And, hey - if I was going to Lowe's for the sink and the toilet - why not pick up screws to assemble the over the toilet shelving item I purchased a year and a half ago.

One trip to Lowe's . . . . and I returned with many parts. The sink was reassembled with a minimum of fuss (if you don't count T.'s absolute horror as I washed out the U-joint). The flapper went into the toilet with ease, and I dropped in a green dye tablet Lowe's offered as a leak detector. I flushed. I waited. And . . . drip . . . drip . . . spatter . . . spatter . . . SPLOOSH! It turns out the large brown mass was all that was left of the corrugated screw that had been in the toilet since 1982 (yes, we found the date). While the flapper was working perfectly, the screw had finally given out (literally . . . it fell out) and I had a direct screw-sized hole leaking neon green water (think the green beers on St. Patty's day) all over my bathroom.

I'm very proud to say that I did not scream like a girl. I actually found the water-shut off, a bowl, and a gigantic roll of paper towels. And while I was tempted to pay the $400 for a new toilet (including installation), we were able to fix the toilet (new screws and all) for roughly $10.00. T. even helped me with the nuts and bolts (literally . . . one of them was a @&#$ to reach).